actuates:

HOW TO PLAY SOCCER IN GYM CLASS:
1. Get the ball
2. Pass it to someone who actually knows how to play
3. Run.

(via astound)

officialunitedstates:

you’re brushing your teeth when suddenly your mint toothpaste tastes like eggs. do you

a)  power through and continue brushing
b)  wash your mouth out
c)  go to your fridge and get out the eggs and bite one to see if it tastes minty

(via supermoclel)

lhommewalk:

i saw a white boy playing an acoustic guitar on his porch so i yelled at him “play wonderwall” and he said he never heard of that song god what’s the fucking point of white boys if u can’t even make fun of them

(via arthurwhit-lock)

majortwink:

in 4th grade we were making clay pots in art and our teacher kept saying “make them thinner! those are too thick they won’t work” so we made them thinner and when she put then in the kiln they all exploded and she told us it was our fault because we made them too thin and if that doesn’t describe the school system i don’t know what does

(via hotboyproblems)

gotitforcheap:

cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?

me: sure do! 8:15

cute girl on the street: thanks 

me: so what are we?

(via pebbleboi)

Neko